expired

  • box – fortune cookies
    Unsealed box of 250 unsealed fortune cookies with 250 unsealed fortune slips. Probably still edible. Probably a little stale. Fortune probably still valid. ??? Richmond, BC in 2017
  • canister – fire extinguisher
    Unsure when it was acquired. Nice to have around to make it seem like things are safe. Has never been used, likely expired but maybe still functional? Pressure gauge is in the green, though slightly overpressurized. Comes with a falling-apart box with important information. Naturalized in 2018
  • canned – baby corn
    Baby corn is actually baby corn that haven’t yet matured into grown corn. Is an obligatory vegetable in every dinner meal because it’s the only veggie you’d eat until you became a grown human. Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016
  • canned – chunk light tuna in water
    Chunk light tuna in water is the best canned tuna for water to tuna ratio, with the tradeoff that you have flake the tuna yourself. Unsure if the tuna in the can is tuna or another tuna-like fish. Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016
  • canned – coconut milk
    Not recommended to drink coconut milk without any kind of dilution. Sometimes comes separated when the fat is sits long enough without disturbance. Best used when poured over warm black rice with taro. Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016
  • canned – condensed milk
    Would recommend eating a spoonful if you’re feeling a bit sweet. A superfood that sweetens and makes your tea and coffee creamier in one go. Also yummy when spread over toast. Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016 Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016
  • canned – luncheon meat
    Mystery meat mechanically separated and mashed together to make a dense loaf of delicious meat. Can be eaten without further cooking, such as paired with soda crackers. At its best when fried until crispy and/or made with eggs. Good to have around when fresh meat is a luxury. Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016
  • canned – peach slices
    For when you’re craving peaches outside of peach season. Canning just means making food forever, right? Unlike fresh peaches, these peaches don’t bruise so easily, even if they’re protected by a can. Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016
  • canned – whole mandarin in light syrup
    It’s a world wonder how they’re able to fit a whole mandarin into a can with enough space for light syrup. It’s like when you try to eat a mandarin whole, and your saliva is the equivalent to the light syrup. Unlike fresh mandarins, you don’t have to peel these and be embarrassed at your …
  • canned – whole mushrooms
    So many whole things that fit inside other whole things. These were the only mushrooms I liked eating as a child because these mushrooms would hold small spaces of soup better than fresh mushrooms. It also lacks that medicinal smell that reminds one of herbal stores full of bitter things. Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016
  • canned mandarin
    Text here about mandarins preserved in syrup and that it’s expired, but probably still edible.
  • computer – desktop
    Missing components like hard drive, power supply, and SATA cables. Still has it’s disk reader to play DVDs and CDs that might be gathering dust in a corner, basement, or box. Can also be used as a temporary desk or to store important things. Salvaged in 2013
  • electronics – headphones with mic
    Features an ambidextrous mic. This headphone with mic set is lighweight, ideal for Skype dates, online gaming with friends and/or enemies, and conference calls. Requires separate headphone (green) jack and microphone (pink) jack or an adapter to use at full potential. Memory Express in 2013
  • electronics – scientific scale
    Not sure if it’s a scientific scale, just remember someone saying it is. Probably needs to be re-calibrated often to ensure science enoughness. Has a lot of buttons but have only used the power and tare functions. Pretty accurate, probably. Good enough for resin mixing at least. Really sensitive, will measure your breath if you …
  • fan – cyan portable with clip
    USB micro charged with a colour-matched clip. Has 3 speeds: gentle, medium, desparate. Only good for one person or small number of persons huddled really close together. Can be used clipped onto a surface or standing on a desk. Hong Kong in 2019
  • jar – sweet & sour sauce
    A jar of sauce I never use at home. Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016
  • keychain – century egg
    Comes in a variety of colour combinations of green, orange and everything in between, kinda like homemade century eggs. Also comes with different yolk sizes, for less realism but more auspiciousness, probably. Some even glow in the dark! Is not edible. Will likely last a century. Hand manufactured in 2019
  • LED – digital counter
    A digital counter that comes with fun buttons to press, like make numbers go up and down, or to start and stop and countdown. Can also tell the time if you want, but less fun as there’s no button pressing. Only comes in red lights. Amazon in 2019
  • packets – sauce sauce in takeout box
    A takeout box filled to the brim with takeout soy sauce packets, so you can bring soy sauce with you with ease. Wholesale Club Calgary in 2016
  • pen – pink (warm sunshine)
    This is actually a replacement after the other one was stolen at a dinner night. The pink is like the warm pinks under clouds during sunset. A ball point pen with blue ink. Hing Wah Imports in 2019
  • pen – red (warm sunshine)
    This pen is no longer being sold at Hing Wah Imports because I bought out their entire stock. The red is like a warm setting sun. A ball point pen with blue ink. Hing Wah Imports in 2019
  • printer – single function inkjet
    A bare-bones but reliable printer. Doesn’t have duplex function but rarely jams. I think someone won this printer and then gave it to me because they heard I needed a printer to make books. Unfortunately, toner ink was discontinuted in 2014. Features lyrics of a song written on masking tape. Donated in 2013
  • shelf – wooden 5 tier
    Kinda tall. Legs are somewhat wobbly and not aligned, but is stable once things sit on it, kinda Been built and unbuilt 3 times and should no longer be unbuilt and built more than one more time. Ikea in 2017
  • table – wooden (small)
    Used to be like the long wooden version until it was painted over with indoor, household acrylic paint. Cute and can still be used as a food table, though harder to clean and not recommended to be licked upon. Naturalized in 2019